2 Samuel 11-12

Really simple post today. Just an encouragement to read 2 Samuel 11 and 12. I’ve read it before but was just hit again by how powerful the chapters are. I don’t think I really need to say much else: God’s grace is amazing, Nathan’s courage to confront the King is inspirational and David’s eventual obedience and repentance is challenging.


2 Samuel 11


David and Bathsheba

1 In the spring of the year, when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites. They destroyed the Ammonite army and laid siege to the city of Rabbah. However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem.

2 Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace. As he looked out over the city, he noticed a woman of unusual beauty taking a bath. 3 He sent someone to find out who she was, and he was told, “She is Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam and the wife of Uriah the Hittite.” 4 Then David sent messengers to get her; and when she came to the palace, he slept with her. She had just completed the purification rites after having her menstrual period. Then she returned home. 5 Later, when Bathsheba discovered that she was pregnant, she sent David a message, saying, “I’m pregnant.”

6 Then David sent word to Joab: “Send me Uriah the Hittite.” So Joab sent him to David. 7 When Uriah arrived, David asked him how Joab and the army were getting along and how the war was progressing. 8 Then he told Uriah, “Go on home and relax.” David even sent a gift to Uriah after he had left the palace. 9 But Uriah didn’t go home. He slept that night at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard.

10 When David heard that Uriah had not gone home, he summoned him and asked, “What’s the matter? Why didn’t you go home last night after being away for so long?”

11 Uriah replied, “The Ark and the armies of Israel and Judah are living in tents, and Joab and my master’s men are camping in the open fields. How could I go home to wine and dine and sleep with my wife? I swear that I would never do such a thing.”

12 “Well, stay here today,” David told him, “and tomorrow you may return to the army.” So Uriah stayed in Jerusalem that day and the next. 13 Then David invited him to dinner and got him drunk. But even then he couldn’t get Uriah to go home to his wife. Again he slept at the palace entrance with the king’s palace guard.

David Arranges for Uriah’s Death

14 So the next morning David wrote a letter to Joab and gave it to Uriah to deliver. 15 The letter instructed Joab, “Station Uriah on the front lines where the battle is fiercest. Then pull back so that he will be killed.” 16 So Joab assigned Uriah to a spot close to the city wall where he knew the enemy’s strongest men were fighting. 17 And when the enemy soldiers came out of the city to fight, Uriah the Hittite was killed along with several other Israelite soldiers.

18 Then Joab sent a battle report to David. 19 He told his messenger, “Report all the news of the battle to the king. 20 But he might get angry and ask, ‘Why did the troops go so close to the city? Didn’t they know there would be shooting from the walls? 21 Wasn’t Abimelech son of Gideon killed at Thebez by a woman who threw a millstone down on him from the wall? Why would you get so close to the wall?’ Then tell him, ‘Uriah the Hittite was killed, too.’”

22 So the messenger went to Jerusalem and gave a complete report to David. 23 “The enemy came out against us in the open fields,” he said. “And as we chased them back to the city gate, 24 the archers on the wall shot arrows at us. Some of the king’s men were killed, including Uriah the Hittite.”

25 “Well, tell Joab not to be discouraged,” David said. “The sword devours this one today and that one tomorrow! Fight harder next time, and conquer the city!”

26 When Uriah’s wife heard that her husband was dead, she mourned for him. 27 When the period of mourning was over, David sent for her and brought her to the palace, and she became one of his wives. Then she gave birth to a son. But the LORD was displeased with what David had done.

2 Samuel 12

Nathan Rebukes David

1 So the LORD sent Nathan the prophet to tell David this story: “There were two men in a certain town. One was rich, and one was poor. 2 The rich man owned a great many sheep and cattle. 3 The poor man owned nothing but one little lamb he had bought. He raised that little lamb, and it grew up with his children. It ate from the man’s own plate and drank from his cup. He cuddled it in his arms like a baby daughter. 4 One day a guest arrived at the home of the rich man. But instead of killing an animal from his own flock or herd, he took the poor man’s lamb and killed it and prepared it for his guest.”

5 David was furious. “As surely as the LORD lives,” he vowed, “any man who would do such a thing deserves to die! 6 He must repay four lambs to the poor man for the one he stole and for having no pity.”

7 Then Nathan said to David, “You are that man! The LORD, the God of Israel, says: I anointed you king of Israel and saved you from the power of Saul. 8 I gave you your master’s house and his wives and the kingdoms of Israel and Judah. And if that had not been enough, I would have given you much, much more. 9 Why, then, have you despised the word of the LORD and done this horrible deed? For you have murdered Uriah the Hittite with the sword of the Ammonites and stolen his wife. 10 From this time on, your family will live by the sword because you have despised me by taking Uriah’s wife to be your own.

11 “This is what the LORD says: Because of what you have done, I will cause your own household to rebel against you. I will give your wives to another man before your very eyes, and he will go to bed with them in public view. 12 You did it secretly, but I will make this happen to you openly in the sight of all Israel.”

David Confesses His Guilt

13 Then David confessed to Nathan, “I have sinned against the LORD.”

Nathan replied, “Yes, but the LORD has forgiven you, and you won’t die for this sin. 14 Nevertheless, because you have shown utter contempt for the LORD[e] by doing this, your child will die.”

15 After Nathan returned to his home, the LORD sent a deadly illness to the child of David and Uriah’s wife. 16 David begged God to spare the child. He went without food and lay all night on the bare ground. 17 The elders of his household pleaded with him to get up and eat with them, but he refused.

18 Then on the seventh day the child died. David’s advisers were afraid to tell him. “He wouldn’t listen to reason while the child was ill,” they said. “What drastic thing will he do when we tell him the child is dead?”

19 When David saw them whispering, he realized what had happened. “Is the child dead?” he asked.

“Yes,” they replied, “he is dead.”

20 Then David got up from the ground, washed himself, put on lotions,[f] and changed his clothes. He went to the Tabernacle and worshiped the LORD. After that, he returned to the palace and was served food and ate.

21 His advisers were amazed. “We don’t understand you,” they told him. “While the child was still living, you wept and refused to eat. But now that the child is dead, you have stopped your mourning and are eating again.”

22 David replied, “I fasted and wept while the child was alive, for I said, ‘Perhaps the LORD will be gracious to me and let the child live.’ 23 But why should I fast when he is dead? Can I bring him back again? I will go to him one day, but he cannot return to me.”

24 Then David comforted Bathsheba, his wife, and slept with her. She became pregnant and gave birth to a son, and they named him Solomon. The LORD loved the child 25 and sent word through Nathan the prophet that they should name him Jedidiah (which means “beloved of the LORD”), as the LORD had commanded.

+1's

I haven’t blogged for a bit because of working at Respite and the wedding. If you didn’t know, my sister Heather got married on Saturday – it’s pretty weird to think she’s a wife now and that we’re all growing up! The wedding was a really emotional, wonderful day; hopefully the photographs will show this. Something which was highlighted to me throughout the day though was how blessed I am with the family I have – my mum and dad and my brother and sisters. I know that 90% of the time I take them for granted and focus on the bits of them which could ‘maybe be improved’. I loved the wedding though because, amongst the chaos, it gave you time to reflect and be thankful. As well as my immediate family I’ve realised that our family have been really blessed with “+1’s”. Just like to apologise at this point Will, Jenna and Benji if you do stumble across this; I didn’t know the political term (maybe in-laws but as only Ben is now married I didn't know for sure...) so I settled for +1’s!
I have 3 amazing siblings: Claire, Duncan and Heather but on top of that, each of them has found an amazing partner: William, Jenna and Benjamin. It was only when we were all together on Saturday that I started to appreciate how blessed I am to know them and how good it is to have them as part of our family. They are all very different (which figures as Claire, Duncan and Heather are pretty ‘unique’) but they are all very good! While I was thinking about this blog I realised that I didn’t have a word against any of them. They have good reputations. They are really good people. A while ago Heather did a blog where she introduced her brother’s and sister’s to the blogosphere but I’d like to proudly introduce my brother and sisters’ +1’s and share some of my thoughts.

Claire and Will

The first thing I knew of Will was that he was ‘Fit Boy’. It seemed Claire and Will had been at school together years ago where Claire had given him this nickname without his knowledge and suddenly she’d met ‘Fit Boy’ again! If you didn’t know this Will, you do now and I’m sure you’ll take it as a compliment. Immediately though, this new relationship was having an incredibly positive impact on Claire. Claire’s probably had the roughest time of all us children and her resilience has always inspired me but it was so clear when Will entered her life the difference he made. Claire seems joyful always now. She is positive and optimistic. She laughs more. She plays the piano again. Will has grown her relationship with God. She seeks God more and it is clear through the way she lives her life. The two of them bring each other closer to Jesus. For me this is always a good sign of a healthy relationship. Will puts up with Claire’s quirkiness, but does more in that he emphasises it and celebrates it! Claire is so much more confident in who she is because Will has allowed and guided her to be it – another clear sign of a good relationship. They can buy hamsters together because that is who they are.

Will is very conscientious and kind. He is like Claire in that he seeks the least of these; the poor, the lost, the downtrodden and he actively helps them. He goes to lonely people’s homes. He is proactive in helping those who need to be helped. Together he and Claire shine Jesus’ example of how to be Good Samaritans. He is never too busy for other people but will always take the time.

What I love about Will as well though is his sense of humour, his likeability and how he doesn’t take life too seriously. He diffuses situations and has a calming influence. He is a great example for me.

Duncan and Jenna

I remember being in Italy about 6 years ago now constantly teasing Duncan about his new girlfriend saying ‘oooooo Jenna!’ I was 13 at the time so I think I was allowed...although Claire was 20 and she joined in too. Because they live further away than Will and Ben, I don’t get to see as much of Jenna as I do the other two but again the impact she’s had on Duncan is obvious. Jenna brings Duncan to life. I’ve never seen him happier than when he’s with her. She brings out the best in him. He is so much more confident when she is around and his love for her is clear. Duncan is really proud of Jenna, as he should be and it’s great to see him love to protect her and provide for her. I think of the verse in Songs of Solomon 2:3 - ‘Like the finest apple tree in the orchard is Duncan among other young men. Jenna sits in his delightful shade....’ (slightly adapted from the NLT)

Jenna is very beautiful. More than that, she’s stunning. I don’t know how Duncan got her! Only kidding, although I’m sure I’ve joked this to him before. They are a very attractive couple. More than that though is Jenna’s character. She is strong and persevering. The last few years haven’t been the easiest for Jen and yet now she is about to start a course in special effects and make up, having already got a degree in Psychology. Jenna is intelligent and adventurous. She fights for what she wants. She has a gentle and sweet spirit but also has a very good sense of humour. I remember one time when I managed to pour all the gravy from my plate onto the carpet obliviously while Jenna and Benji just looked and laughed at me. Jenna also does well to put up with the weirdness of our family, although fortunately for her Duncan’s probably the most normal of all of us.  Most recently I spoke to her about her time at Warwick which got me buzzing for university - bring it on. I’m really looking forward to getting to see Duncan and Jen more this year up in Warwick!

Ben and Heather....

...and then there’s Ben.....

In all seriousness Ben was an answer to prayer for Heather. Not many people know but before Heather and Ben got together Heather made a list and prayed for all the things she wanted in a boyfriend. However, the twist was that she liked another guy called Benji who lived up North, so sneaky Heather added to the list ‘...oh yeah, and he’s got to be called Ben!’ I think God had the last laugh there.

If there is one word which sums up Ben it is his ‘Integrity’.

He is funny, he is gifted, he is caring, he is strong and he is many things but it is his integrity which I most admire. This world doesn’t care much for integrity, unless that integrity is lost. We care a lot more for gifting and ability than character and yet Ben is such an advocate for character over gifting! He has changed Heather so much over their time together. I don’t remember much from  before but I do remember that most of mine and Heather’s conversations involved arguments, snide comments and making the other cry. Heather is now one of my confidantes and I trust her opinion and wisdom avidly. She has grown into such a woman of God and it would stupid to think that Ben hasn’t had a big part in that. I love being around Ben on his own and with Heather. I know God is going to use them to change this world and I'm excited to see that and be a part of it.

So there you have it! 3 people who are very different, very brave (to take on my siblings) and who are such great examples to me. Even writing this I realise how much I’ve learnt about doing relationships well from their influence. I’m not worried about mucking it up when I do meet my future wife because I have 3 strong couples I can look up to for guidance. Thank you Jesus that they are a part of my life.

It's not all about me!

Humility is a never ending journey and pride seems to rear its head in many, many different guises. Just when you think you’ve overcome pride in one area of your life..oh...here it is again in a different form. We sometimes forget that this is God our Father gently sanctifying us and showing us what our next step is.

Recently I’ve started to realise that I’ve been getting prideful when it comes to other followers of Jesus. I see other Christians going a bit lukewarm, getting complacent and apathetic and doing things which frustrate me. I see them sinning and immediately I judge them. I don’t necessarily speak to them about it (although confrontation in a loving way is a good thing) but in my head I’ve put myself above them. It’s not that I’ve recognised their sinfulness; it’s that I’m elevating myself above them. I’m ignoring the plank in my own eye and focussing on the speck in theirs (Matthew 7:3-5).

This is clear-cut pride.

But it’s so easy to do and so easy to miss – we think we’re being holy when actually we’re being hypocritical.

Philippians 2:3 says “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourself.”

Now that is hard and isn’t going to happen overnight and actually it’s not always obvious how to do this. When I identified this new pride in my life I began praying to God:

‘Ok. So how do I see others (Christians in this case) as better than myself when it seems they’re sinning more than me? When it seems I’m in a better place than them spiritually?’

Today I felt God answer me. He spoke a single sentence to me which changed my perspective. I don’t fully understand it but I’m trying to apply it. I heard God’s voice:

“You’re not here on this Earth to make the best possible you. To make you into a world changer. To make you be on fire. To make you be as close to God as possible. You’re here to make other people into these things”

Okay you might be thinking that’s completely wrong, maybe a bit heretical and unbiblical – when I first heard it I thought the same. The more I thought about it though, the more it made sense. The Gospel message is all about other people – it isn’t about ourselves, it’s about sharing it with others. To love God and to love other people. It’s sacrificial. We give ourselves to God for His Kingdom sake.

As people we are so selfish and even as Christians we become so obsessed with ourselves and our walk with God we can lose sight of this. Our role is to bring other people as close to God as possible, to equip other people, to enable other people and to let God do what only He can do in their lives.

When we do this then actually we ourselves will become the best possible us, the biggest world changers, the most on fire Christ followers and will grow closer to God ourselves. God is in the detail: He said to me ‘you’re not here to make yourself into....’ but as we invest in other people and focus our attention on them as being more important than us, actually God makes us into these things and blesses us abundantly in these ways too.

Rather than getting frustrated when I see other followers acting sinfully I’m now trying to pray for them immediately and remind myself – You are here on this Earth to challenge, strengthen, uplift and impact that person. It’s not all about you. This won’t happen straight away but hopefully will gain momentum and become a habit. From that I know God will show me the next step.

I hope that makes sense, it kind of all came out at once and if I’m honest I don’t 100% understand it all but that’s my mini-epiphany for the day and I hope it challenges you to value others above yourself, to lift your focus off yourself and onto raising up others. I challenge you to invest your prayer for others to be more blessed than yourself – for others to have better opportunities and more fruit than yourself. It’s a big prayer.

Value others above yourself. I’m challenging myself in this and excited about what God is doing in others...not just in me....

Invest

Matthew 25: 14 - 30

God spoke to me yesterday about a really important thing: Investment.

When we think investment we often think money. We think about how we can invest our money. What should we invest our money in? How can we make the most of our money? We may think how we can invest our money to make more money. We many think how we can invest our money into good causes like charities. Those of us who believe in God may think ‘How can I use my money for God’s Kingdom?’ – how can I use it to show God’s goodness to this world?

Investment isn’t just money though. We also think about our time. How can I best invest my time. How should I best use my time. Invest my time into a good cause. Invest my time to be the most productive.

Investment can relate to money. It can relate to time. But actually investment is a lot more than that. Investment covers your whole life. I want to ask what are you investing your life into? For me I’ve decided to invest into God’s Kingdom and because of that I don’t want to waste my life on other things. I want to invest fully at all times, in all seasons. We don’t suddenly take all our money out of our investment accounts because we’re having a rough patch so why should I with God?

God spoke to me in a big way about prayer. Prayer is an investment. What you are praying into is what you are investing into. What you’re praying into is important. The people you’re praying for, the situations you’re praying, they are what you’re investing into. So make sure it’s worthwhile! Make sure you’re what you’re praying for is the important stuff. When we pray we expect it to happen. When we invest we expect a return. So when that return comes in make sure it’s the stuff that’s really important. Your time and prayer is important so don’t waste it.

We’ve only got so much time here on this Earth but while we’re here we want to make a big difference. Let’s make sure we’re investing well into the things that are important so when they come off, they have a big impact.

Albania

I'm writing this feeling absolutely exhausted but also elated having just arrived home from spending 10 days in Albania. The time I spent there was extremely exhausting and challenging but also incredibly special. I love Albania - I've been 3 times now and I would love to go again. It's an interesting place.

For those of you who don't know where Albania is (Zak thought it was in Africa on our first trip), Albania is just across the sea from Italy bordering Macedonia, Kosovo and Greece and so yes, it is very hot. Kerith have links with some of the churches in Albania and for the past 3 years we have helped run a youth camp in a town called Pogradec. 14 of us went, spending 5 days in Elbasan where we put on evangelistic concerts (worship, drama and the Gospel), helped run the church meeting on the Sunday and evangelised on local radio before spending the next 5 days at the youth camp.

God is on the move in Albania and I wanted to share some of the cool stuff which inspired me while I was out there. Firstly the growth. Albania hasn’t been open to the Christian message for very long but just in the past 3 years I’ve been there we’ve seen growth. The first time we went the youth camp had about 80 young people but this year there were 160 with more wanting to come but being unable to because of limited space! That’s pretty significant growth which has come about because the churches and church leaders in Albania are on fire for God. God is building up some clear leaders amongst the young people who, since the first time we met them, have been transformed by Jesus. It’s so exciting to be able to come in and see this, although what we see is only the product of persistent hard work by the churches in Albania.

This year as a team we really stepped up our game and strived to do more than we’d done before. Between leading worship, preaching, running workshops and teaching dramas there really isn’t much rest which, combined with about 6 or 7 hours sleep every night, could easily lead to some fallouts. I am so glad to say that we stayed united as a team and everyone stayed focussed on our mission. I was so impressed by our team stepping up in different ways (Tom now speaks fluent Albanian and managed to befriend the whole camp it seemed.....although Liam and Tom did make a 13 year old girl cry...) but in seriousness this year was the most challenging but by far the most rewarding and effective. From a personal point of view we taught some of the Albanians the ‘Everything’ Drama throughout the week which they performed on the Friday. It wasn’t without its struggles but seeing the response they received in the Friday meeting was incredible. The journey of Marina (the main girl in the drama), who accepted Jesus into her life that morning, was so clearly marked out by God – if you ask me in person I’ll explain just how specifically God marked out events for her at the camp.

For me personally I saw God do some big things. I was asked to baptise some of the young people from Tirana which was a huge privilege, particularly as it was the first time I’d ever baptised anyone. It had been raining the hour before but when we the time came for the baptisms (which were in a lake by the way!!!) the sun came out and it was pretty special. God gave me a Word of Knowledge for someone which I was weighing up whether or not I should give until God brought that person directly to me – so I kind of had to give it. I believe we saw a girl released from a demonic spirit in her life. After she’d been prayed for by Helen she said that her family had been cursed and, if you’d seen her behaviour whilst being prayed for then you’d see that there was something major going on. A highlight for me was also getting to preach Simon’s message of the ‘Peach and the Coconut’. This had an extra twist in that I quickly discovered whilst preaching that ‘peach’ in Albanian sounds like something quite rude (I won’t say what) and so was met with loud jeers from some Albanian boys. However God moved powerfully and we saw a big response for salvation at the end of that meeting.

We don’t know the exact number of people who responded to accept Jesus into their life throughout the mission trip but we worked out as a team on the way back that there were about 80 responses at the camp and the concerts. I hope this encourages you in your faith that God is working at large around the world and I’d ask that you keep Albania and the churches there in your prayers.

What are you standing on?

Yesterday at church Ben Davies spoke on the prayer of Abraham in Genesis 17. God reminds Abraham of His promise to him - that Abraham will become the Father of Nations and his wife will have a child. Instead of believing God at his word though, instead Abraham simply prays 'Oh Lord, If only Ishmael would live under your blessing'. Abraham settled and didn't take God at His word but rather asked God if his current situation was enough.

For the last couple of months I've been praying to God for one main thing: 

Faith. When it comes to faith, talking the talk is very easy but when it comes to believing God can completely heal someone right in front of your eyes or save your friend in that exact moment or bring revival to this town today then it's quite different. We need to be honest about our faith and where we are with it. God has brought me on a huge journey with faith but He's also made me more honest about it. I know there are times I doubt His power now and yet I don't doubt He's God. It's weird but it's true for all of us on occasion.

So back to Ben's talk - yesterday when I heard Ben speak I'd actually heard the message before. I'd been lucky enough to go with Ben and Liam to another church and hear him speak on Abraham there. At this church Ben had spoken with real passion. The talk was powerful and engaging. The only problem though was it didn't really challenge me. I listened to what Ben said but I didn't feel real impact in my life.

The funny thing about God though is that He won't settle for that. He wouldn't settle for with Abraham and He wouldn't settle for that with me. Ben brought the exact same message yesterday and yet God, in His infinite wisdom, chose now to answer my prayers. Ben asked one thing which I knew was straight from God:

'What is your mindset?' 

I felt God saying to me: 'Is your mindset based on your circumstances, the past, other people....or is it based on my Word?' 

Faith for Healing. Faith for Salvation. Faith for Revival. All these things came to mind as God asked me simply - 'What does my Word say?' 

It is so easy to base our faith and our prayers on the past and what's gone before. When we pray for healing knowing God hasn't done it in the past we base our prayers upon that rather than Luke 11 and Isaiah 53:5. When we pray for salvation we think of our past instead of standing upon John 10. When we pray for Revival we see the darkness of our town rather than the power of the Holy Spirit in the Book of Acts, available to us now. What do we believe and what do we stand upon? God's Word or the past? This is a huge challenge not just to me but to all of us. God is asking us all:

What are you standing upon?

I pray that I will stand upon His word more and more each day.

Kingdom Come

I love to worship and I love to sing God’s praises. I love praising God on my own with just a CD or an acoustic guitar and I love belting out worship songs surrounded by others also crying out to God. I feel elevated when I sing. My perspective shifts from myself and my circumstances up to a very big God. I thank God for being able to sing worship to him.

I wanted to take this opportunity to plug a worship album I’ve been listening to recently which I’m so excited about. If you know me quite well you’ll probably know that I’m a big fan of Elevation Church and particular their worship music – they inspired me to try electro worship music and as a Church, Kerith have sung their songs ‘The Lord is my Rock’ and ‘The Broken and the Tired’. The album I want to plug is their most recent album - ‘Kingdom Come’. In my opinion it’s incredible!

It’s not like it’s the best musically; it’s very good and does sound nice but in terms of creativity and experimentation they’ve kept it quite straightforward and Hillsong United’s latest album ‘Aftermath’ is much more progressive.  What’s so good about Elevation’s album though is that the words so clearly come from a place and heart of worship. What’s even more apparent is that the songs clearly come out of a church which is living out its call to be the Hope of the World.  Many songs we sing do declare truth. They are good to sing and are easy to worship to. However, I believe some songs do have God’s anointing upon them and come from God himself – I believe this album is so powerful because, as a church, Elevation are walking in God’s will and so their worship is coming from God’s heart for them. Below are some of the lines which really spoke to me:

‘You made the sun stand still, the oceans part. You’re powerful, it’s who you are!’

‘You promised our city would be shaken with your love.’

‘Raise your hopeful voices, make a joyful noise and sing unto the King of Glory’

‘This is the day. This is the time. When all you spoke has come alive. We’ve seen you move. We’ve seen your fire. We’ve seen it all for You are on our side.

‘Let hope swell in our lives so we can be the church that lives out your heart’

‘If I lose it all, You’re enough. If I gain the world, You’re enough. My joy is complete, Jesus you are enough for me’.

The focus on joy and hope is so inspiring. The Joy of the Lord is our Strength and sets us apart so we can be the Hope to this world. This album excites and challenges me in my worship and as I look to write songs to glorify God – am I writing just a song or am I writing something powerful from God’s own heart.

http://itunes.apple.com/us/album/kingdom-come/id385991352

Maybe it was just God speaking to me but I’d encourage you to listen to album and I hope it blesses you as it did me.